So it's been a little over 7 months of silence on this little blog of mine. But definitely not silence elsewhere. What has been happening? We've had a baby, a boy named Micah John, born May 21, 2014. He is such a blessing and well loved by his siblings, and we are adjusting. He's six weeks old today, but he's not the reason it's been silent. It's been because of who he was named after. My dad.
In December, my dad went in for a routine surgery, and our world was turned upside down. There was nothing routine about it, for they discovered a very rare form of cancer, cancer of the appendix, that produces a mucin. The surgeon that was operating knew that he was in way over his head as soon as he opened dad up, and this began a series of several more surgeries complicated by a severe and persistent peritoneal infection and 2 months of being in and out of the hospital. This was followed by 4 months of having a drain, building strength, and waiting for another surgery.
You see, the best option involves a 15-20 hr surgery, with two teams of doctors and nurses working continually on dad, opening the abdominal cavity and then 'washing' the organs with a heated chemo, and then painstakingly putting it all back together again. This is what we've been waiting for, and yet when he got the call for pre-op two weeks ago, saying they were bumping his surgery up, my heart sank. I knew this was what we wanted and prayed for, and yet the reality of a very painful procedure with a long recovery hurt my heart to consider. What will it be like to see my dad in the ICU for a few weeks? Hooked up to tubes, and in such an excruciating amount of pain that they will have him on an epidural for a week, and so many pain meds that most patients don't remember that first week post-op. What will it be like to hold mom's hand as we wait in the hallway to hear how the surgery is going? What do you do for those 15 hours? How do you encourage someone who is in that much pain? How do you actually come to grips with the fact that it's your own dad who has cancer?
I want to make it better, but I can't. I can only trust in the God who made Dad, loves Dad, and who is sustaining Dad. I can trust the God who made time has the perfect time for when the surgery will take place. In the waiting time, our family has changed. Micah was born, and we welcomed a new precious niece to the family. My beloved brother, sister-in-law and kiddos moved to Australia. And we were given some good months where Dad has been feeling fairly well. We've been enjoying visits, talks on the phone and face time. We've gotten used to hospitals and gotten to know the doctors who specialize in this cancer. We can use lingo that was unfamiliar 7 months ago. We've gotten sister time at a hospital bedside, and more phone calls between siblings. We've enjoyed unexpected visits. We've had people offer to take the kiddos for when the big surgery happens so I can be in Ontario. We've prayed and cried together. We've been prayed for. I've been broken-hearted and yet sustained. I've been given peace.
These are glimpses of grace in the past few months, and I'm so thankful. In the mean time, we wait a little more, as no surgery date has been set yet, despite the pre-op stating 'Early July', and I'm thankful that Dad is stable enough to not be an emergent case, but can build strength in preparation for the upcoming marathon.
I'm thankful.
