10 fingers. 10 toes. 10 lbs. Exactly. Jessie-Lynn had a doctor's appointment yesterday and has grown an inch and gained a pound in the last 6 weeks. We praise God that despite having a germ-filled house, Jessie has escaped unscathed through the first two months of her life. Besides having the sniffles twice, she has endured having over 150 people through the house, weekly BSF meetings and church in a flu-filled season without getting sick.
This is the good news. The bad news is her weight has dropped in her percentiles. Our chunky monkey, while growing, is less chunky than desirable... at least according to the growth charts. My heart fell. After fighting the weight battle with the girls for the first 16 months of their lives, I was expecting that Jessie would be our easy one. As a singleton, and one who is sleeping through the night, I never anticipated this. Once again, the old temptations raised their ugly heads. Good mothers have tons of rich, creamy milk. Good mothers have plump babies. Are you feeding your child enough? Umm. Hogwash! Even though I know this is ridiculous, it still feels like a failure. Satan attacks. Now it's mine to resist. Running to Jesus, knowing that these are temptations for me to take on what is not mine.
Whose standards am I living up to? What has the bible called me to do? Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov 22:6. Is that my primary concern, what God thinks of how I am parenting? Or what other people think? And what about Jessie? Am I blaming her for reflecting poorly on my ability to parent? If only she'd drink more. If only she would take a bottle. Or am I praising God for her, and how he's made her?
This temptation will come up again and again. And yet they will be exactly as they were created. Smart or slower. Tall. Thin. Plump. Short. Blond or brunette. Quiet. Loud. Exactly as they were created. And I will teach them For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13. And while we're bumping up feedings, and reinstating our 2am bonding time, I will praise God for her. As she is.
A perfect 10.
2 comments:
Hey Laura! Try not to worry, it seems that its a JVD thing...Jacob has been flopping from the 10th percentile to the 50th percentile back down to the 20th percentile, etc. Two appointments ago the doctor was very happy and said he's growing fantastic, then last week at another appointment he took his weight, grabbed his pen to fill out his chart...and paused...and my heart fell. He's dropped down again from his growth chart, I was waiting for the questions about his eating, to defend myself..and the doctor smiled and said, "well, I guess this is just normal for him." finally...after 15 months...its normal...hang in there!
Hang in there Sis! We're certainly thinking of you (all!) and look forward to the next time we might have to catch up! Stacey's doing great, thankfully, and we're increasingly conscious (as we read all these beautiful blogs: yours and Lindsey's) of how much our lives are about to be changed.... and looking forward to it!
Love!
Nathan and Stace
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